Dear Mama, Name the Fear...

I was a total mess. Sitting by myself in a coffee shop with uncontrollable tears flowing down my face. The more I wiped, the heavier they flowed. The heavier they flowed, the warmer they became. And soon I found myself with my head in my hands, trying to make sense of it all. At that point I did what seemed rational to me. I closed my laptop… packed up my books… grabbed my backpack... and headed right out the door.

Boom. Just like that. Work session now over. All because I was having a meltdown.

And for what?

I’m not really sure. Somehow I went from laughing with a friend, to talking to her about [a few life circumstances], to rejoicing and trusting in who God is… to suddenly crying inconsolably about the very thing I was so hopeful about. Now my friend was gone at this point, but my thoughts were very present. And although I wanted to press on with the day, and “get stuff done”, I was stuck in my feelings.

Angry, confused, frustrated, discouraged, disappointed, at a loss... all of it. All of a sudden.

So I very quickly gave all of my feelings to the Lord.

Let me explain. It’s not too often that I “get in my feelings”. I just don’t. I am honest and I identify how I feel, but I just don’t stay there. Usually, I am actively moving toward finding the truth in a given situation. Fact over feeling, if you will. Now before you think I am super-human, please know that this is an intentional choice, and has developed over years of practice. Truth be told, I am sorely aware that if I don’t master my emotions, they will certainly master me.

And yet, I was still unsettled.

I then reached out to couple of my sisters, telling them exactly how I felt. I’m sure I wasn’t making much sense, with my spotty details and conflicting rambles. But through all of that, somehow a dear sister knew to say to me, “Name the fear.” 

Those words stopped me in my tracks. After all, I never once said I was scared of anything.

But she knew what I didn’t know. That is, that I was so busy identifying the feelings, that I had not even considered the very FEAR that ignited the firestorm.

After listening to me for a bit longer , she then says, “Now you have your prayer request.”

My goodness, she was right. And my mind was blown.

Here’s the deal. In that moment, her simple call to action, name the fear, allowed me to gain more insight about what was going on with me. You see, sometimes a feeling is more than a fleeting emotion. Instead, it is an indicator that something deeper is occurring. It is a sensor, a warning light, a red flag so to speak. So instead of taking God’s truth and applying it to the feeling, it became necessary for me to take God’s truth and apply it to the fear that sparked the feeling.

Not only that. But once the fear is identified, then the next step is to specifically pray about the fear, and speak God’s truth as it relates to that.

I did it. And let me tell you, as I addressed the fear, the feelings then subsided.

Listen. My friend spoke life to me that day. She called me to the carpet. She sorted through my mess. She saw what I wasn’t willing to reveal. She identified that there was so much more brewing underneath than I was willing to give credit for. And boy, am I thankful that God used her gentle nudges to pull my heart strings that day.

Now Dear Mama, if you’re feeling restless, let me be that friend to you. Name the fear. Make it your prayer request. Let God settle you.

…casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7